Shallow stuff

I was the only student for kickboxing today. It was a little weird getting all the attention, but the instructor made me work it out. And I am mighty pleased with myself. Only thing now is, I'm hungry. Maybe I'll go get myself a hot mug of Milo and some crackers (boring but healthy!) after I shower. Mmmmm.

Anyway, someone's plan to keep his arrival date from me has been busted, by his own father no less. Wahaha. I was laughing my head off when I read the mail from his father. This is brilliant. Now I don't have to think of what to say to his dad to get his arrival date. :P But of course, I had other back up plans. Teeheehee. I say, be nice to me and I'll tell you about my back up plan.

Heehee.

I'm so happy. And I think Bugis is a wonderful place to shop. Cheap stuff abound and thee's so much variety, ranging from ah-lien style to elegant stuff. Coolness. I shall go there to splurge and get some nice earrings. :D

And today, I revealed to a few people about the graffitti on the wall. *smirk* Life is good, life is good. LG. :P

Money woes, AGAIN

Yesterday I was happily calculating my expenditure for the month and realised that I could save $200 and there I go today, splurging on a belt, a gift and a stupid yellow ribbon (for ex-convicts!) and reducing my total savings. Bah. But not too bad. Despite all the outings and many cab rides and other unnecessary purchases, I still managed to save up some money. Woohoo~

Ganbatte for October!

I think I need a brand new battery for my Mac. Everytime I recharge it, I get about 3.5 hours of total usage (and it used to be a maximum of almost 5 hours). But because of all the stuff I do, MSN-ing, surfing, tuning to iTunes etc, it gets reduced to about 2.5 or more hours. And I have been very good, recalibrating my battery every so often! Maybe because it's more than 2 years already. Looks like I really need to spend some money getting a brand new battery and upgrade the RAM. Or maybe it's time for a new PowerBook? *grin* I'll look into this in Dec lah. Meanwhile I'm still OK with 3 hours' worth of battery life.

OK. I need to catch up on webcast lecture now. Cheeers.

Music and wounds

A new online music store (based in Sg) was launched a while back and now they are giving special offers to students from the university located in Clementi. Boon Lay people too far lah. Heh. Anyway, it's at a discounted rate of SGD 1.49/song and I think it's only slightly cheaper compared to Apple's USD 0.99/song. Plus the selections are pathetic, especially for songs in the classical and jazz genre. Of course, they must cater to the masses, aka the cheena mass, and so they have lots and lots and lots of poppish Chinese songs. Ah well, I might just buy a song for fun someday.

Wanted to type some serious stuff and help myself revise pathology. But I just can't seem to find all the right words! Which means I am still quite blurry with the concepts. Urgh.

Bad sign. Back to books for now.

Pondering

Every time I decided to take a walk down memory lane (aka browsing through my archives), I find that my writing style has changed. I also find that I am getting more and more reluctant with expressing my real emotions on this blog. I find that I have grown and changed, for the better and for the worse.

I think this is all I'm going to write for now. I might move away from this blog address and set up a private blog where I would write just for him and myself. I might just keep this blog for the sake of old times and various memories. I guess this will turn into something I entertain a few friends with. **I hate those unwanted intruders with a vengeance and if you are still reading this, you should know who you are. You do not come to people's house and declare that they should not paint graffiti on their walls.**

We shall see.

Right now I'm going to be very busy preparing for my weekly tests. So I wouldn't be writing much thoughtful updates until the end of the semester.

I did some calculations

And found that we have not seen each other since 4 Jan (3 Jan over in NY) and that makes it a grand total of 262 DAYS. And there's approximately 75 days more to go before I get to see him again. I am shocked too. It's been so long...The longest time we were apart was a mere 298 days.

We have been together for so long, but we spend 5/6 of our relationship being apart from each other. Guess I'll do that bulk of calculations another day. I need to get back to my work to keep my mind from overindulging itself in such depressing thoughts. SIGH.

Summoning all the bad vibes...SIGH

I am feeling the chill of the air, wondering why I am confined to this room alone together with books. I have not had enough of the midterm break. I need it to extend by just a day so that I could pick myself up.

I am down. I feel sad, hopeless and purposeless. I am afraid of what is to come and I am definitely not ready to dash forward just like the rest. This few days of "break" has sucked me dry of my energy and joy (somehow...) and replaced with it with endless worry and fear. I am getting more and more dependent on him and I know that one day he will turn away from me.

I am just afraid that day may come...because these few days was lovely. And I know that good things will always come to an end.

This is so pessimistic and sad. I just want to be cocooned somewhere and I know I will be better soon enough. Maybe it's because I'm starting to feel the runny nose coming and the temperature rising.

Maybe it's because of excessive socialising this week that I did not have enough alone time. More to come later...

You know how people just like to read about downfalls, unhappiness and anger of another? I guess today's post managed to feed some of that perverse hunger of yours.

Since I'm very free...

I have been surfing around for nice icons to personalise my desktop. Never had the time (or resources) to do that. So, presenting to you, the icons on my desktop. :)

Quick Random Thoughts

1. My classmate HT sound so docile in the City of Brotherly Love and Sisterly Affection! Wahaha. I hope he survives.

2. Woohoo~ I finished the report even though I cannot find the most crucial reference I needed to write it. Damn those book hoggers. Typical kiasu students. Bah.

3. I am going to make myself a cheese-bacon-egg sandwich later for dinner! Oh, and I will whip up a bowl of salad as well. Yummy cherry tomatoes.

4. Mom is coming down to Sg tomorrow! Whee~ I can foresee many free lunches/dinners this week. Haha.

5. I have the time to work on a new PINK template! I think dusty pink is a nice colour. Don't fancy pink very much actually, but some shades are acceptable.

6. I should wash my comforter and get a cover for it.

7. Ah. My towel needs to be washed too.

8. Lovely Indian dinner tomorrow! And fantabulous company too.

Jeles betoi

Someone has just placed an order for iPod Nano. Aku pun mau lah. I've been thinking about it since last week too, when it was first launched. Of course, I immediately emailed him about it. Heh heh.

I want iPod Nano (repeat ad nauseum). Should I just use up my savings just to buy it? What are pros of getting it? Do I have enough cool songs to fill it with? Will I treat it with scorn after a while? (I think it is unlikely because I still love my Mac and would NEVER trade it for a more powerful Windoze. Next Mac in line would be Powerbook G5 15in. Woohoo.)

And a meanie said he would gladly buy the iPod Nano, but not for me. It's for himself and he will give me his old, scratched and over-used iPod mini. *sulk*

Shoot. I need to start typing the report. OK. I've gotta go now. :D

Tweak

Well, as promised, I did some tweaking to my blog. Looks a little less harsh now I think...

I fixed the problematic "About" and added a border to the table. I think I can safely say I have mastered html tables. Cleared up the mess in my coding as well. *beam*

Am thinking of creating a PINK blog next. Teeheehee.

Money woes

Cheh. The "recover post" thing on Blogger doesn't work. Pooi.

Anyway. I'll be darn busy this week even though it is midterm break. It's only Saturday but I am already feeling stressed. I have so many things to do - fitness classes, choir, project, various meet ups etc. I wish I did not plan so many meet ups. Wanna have more alone time with myself and go shopping alone. Feel like buying some new stuff for my room...but I am very broke. :( It is so stifling to spend within the budget. And with so many meet ups coming up, I'm going to overspend in the food category. And probably the phone bill category too - been calling US too much without a calling card. Besides, I suspect the calling card is getting more expensive. Everytime I make a call, they deduct away 30 cents for connection fee and if I talk for only a few minutes, it is more expensive than calling directly. And everytime I make a call and the other party doesn't pick up the phone *glare*, I get charged (by Singtel) as well. So I am in fact paying both Singtel AND calling card company for overseas phonecall. I think I should reconsider using that card. So HOW lah. I wnana call US sometimes, but Singtel can be expensive and the calling card isn't exactly cheap...

Argh. I don't like budgets!! I don't get to splurge on nachos and salsa sauce (because it is not necessary and unhealthy). I don't get to buy that pretty shoes I wanted to have. And I don't get to dress up with necklaces or bangles or bracelets etc because it is not considered a necessity under my budget. And I need to think over a million times whether I should buy more RAM for my Macky. SIGH. I am so poor. :( And I wanna buy a new bag...

I'm doing all these awful things to mysefl because I am saving up...for a potential US or UK trip. SIGH. And if I don't get to go to those places, I'm saving up to pay off my tuition fees in graduate school.

Blardy hell. Why am I so poor.

Temptations

Sometimes it is just sooo tempting to kope some stickers from the lab when the tangan-gatal syndrome strikes. It's not just any stickers, but they are those stickers that says "For Rectal Use Only", "Not To Be Taken" or "Poison". And it is really tempting to proceed to stick all these treasures on friends' stationeries. It would be amusing to see their reaction when they find their correction fluid bottle saying "For Rectal Use Only". Heehee.

*LOUD SIGH*

Another test again this Thursday. I have no life. :( Gotta study again. Whee~

Irrational fear

I went to do grocery shopping today. And while I was queueing up at the cashier point, a pregnant lady was in front of me. She was quite petite and looked pretty young. But she was heavily pregnant. Immediately, dramatic scenes of her possible clutching her stomach in pain as she started to go into labour pains flashed through my mind. And as I observed her, suddenly a fear gripped my heart. I was reminded by all the lectures I had about the dos and don'ts of pregnancy. And on top of those requirements, I remembered all those trouble and difficulty I had to go through if I were to get pregnant. Stuff like morning sickness, gestational diabetes and hypertension isn't the best thing to have. Also, there's emotional imbalances, the post-natal blues and so much more. And oh, the making love part. It's never gonna be the same. And I suddenly find that I will never be ready to see my beautifully thin and petite balloon into humongous size. And I worry about the potential stretch marks I will get around the belly and the saggy buttocks and thunderous thighs. Oh, and saggy boobs that's engorged with milk too.

Nope. I think married life will not settle down well with me. Maybe it's just enough to have a male companion just to keep me company until I grow old. And I'll be a filthy rich old woman. Har har. I guess it's nice not having to plan about the kid's college funds and living expenses and fulfilling their endless whims on toys/gadgets.

I'm just very tired lah. I need a good sleep and frankly, I don't seem to have enough time to spend on other things besides studies, CCA and fitness class.

Uhm.

Just to add in.

I am starting to sound like one of favourite blogger. Hah hah. Well, it's just a temporary phase I guess.

It's been a long and tiring day today. Went for class in the morning. Fooled around a little in class. Then went for a very quick lunch before settling myself in the library to mug for Pharmacology test. And I did the test...was pretty OK. Hopefully the results don't disappoint me again. I just never do enough to satisfy myself leh. How. And then had a lecture on anti-depressant drugs and I can pretty confirm that I've had depression last year. And when I was down in the pits, nobody was around to help me. The people I sought help from scorned me and avoided me. Oh well. At least going home and spending time with my family lifted me up from this depression. I guess I am pretty much OK now. :) Oh, digressed again. So then me and a couple of friends went for very early dinner (at 4.30pm!!) and I have fattening, cheese-laden lasagne. But I kicked it all off in 2 hours' worth of kickboxing class. Har har har. Then came back, soft like jelly. Showered, cleaned the room and did my laundry. Am resting now. I deserve the rest man.

And that stupid person upstairs is on Skype again, letting the whole block listen to her conversation. Ugh.

Catching my breath

I think someday I will end up with a husband that plops himself down at the TV when he gets back from work while I'll be cooking up a storm (literally) in the kitchen preparing our dinner. And guess what, I don't happen to be a housewife. Yup, I'll be a full-time pharmacist and a full-time housewife. I wonder whether all my juggling with CCAs, academics, personal interests and other miscellaneous things are preparing me for this.

Well, I didn't intend my post to go this way.

What I wanted to say was, I think my future husband is going to be the thickest person on earth. I'd imagine our conversations would go like this.

Me: Dear, would like to help me mash up these eggs. I've had a really long day at the pharmacy and there's this really important thing I need to look through as soon as possible and I'd really appreciate some help.
Him: Huh? But there's some news on TV. But oh well, OK. (Obviously can guess that he didn't hear anything beyond the "mash up these eggs" part)

OR

Me: Dear, do you think we could spend some time together?
Him: Doing what?
Me: Uh...you know, just spend time together lah. Since we're a couple you know...
Him: But I see you everyday what.

And you can guess that an argument would ensue.

Well, I am crossing my fingers that I won't end up with this kind of guy. Cos if you have to ASK to spend time together then something is very wrong. What is more important, the news on TV or me?

So likewise, me or your other extra-curricular activites?

I have a bad feeling that some thick people won't be able to get it.

Being in love

While waiting for dinner to digest itself, I blog-surfed again. A comment taken verbatim from a favourite blog of mine.

...Love is BLIND. It’s really blind..you know why? When you fall in love with some chiq or dude, at first, you tutup both eyes and ignore his/her ugly traits (imperfections) coz you’re still high on love mah but the funny thing is when you reach the more stable part of the relationship, you still tutup both eyes and accept his/her ugly traits for he/she is who he/she is because now, you’re not high on love but you’re really truly in love.

I'm in love. Woo~

sick

Yay. Heh.

I've not been this sick for a long long time. Most of the time it's just a mild runny nose and mild fever which cleared up the next day. I think the last time I was this sick was back in March? Or possibly earlier? I cannot remember. Just know that I've been quite healthy for a long while. Heh.

*smug grin*

Very randomly

Someone's on Skype and the whole world can hear their conversation. Occasionally, the girl on the other end starts whining and it's just plain irritating. Ugh. Don't you hate people who whine? I remember back in secondary school, me and a group of friends tend to shun those people that whine a lot. And in RIB, we did the same to the whiny person in our group. Of course, we are very tolerant people, but sometimes these whiners just go on and on and on and on and you just wish they could STFU and whine to the tree instead. At least the tree won't swipe its branches at you and fling you to the other end of the earth.

And oh, did I mention this whiner-shunning practice is still in full force now? Heh heh.

Have you ever noticed how some people like to sit damn close to you on the bus? I'm not talking about a perverted opposite sex here, but of a normal person of the same gender as you. They will just plonk their butt into the empty seat beside you and start to occupy the little unspoken airspace barrier between commuters. And her side of the hip will be touching your hip (ugh) and her sleeves will be tickling you arm. How annoying. Even when you start to shift your weight exaggeratedly, the person is so thick that she couldn't even take the hint. Worse still, she's not even obese. Just a little plump.

Ever noticed the smell of the dustbin full of food? It smells just like the microbiology lab. Except that it's possibly 10 times stronger.

I lighted some vanilla-scented candles today with the hope that my room will be warm and vanilla-ish. But I did some handwash and now the smell of detergent has overpowered the subtle hint of vanilla in the room. Cheh. And I can't exactly keep the fan at the lowest speed cos I need to do my homework.

And, this is a veryhappy news, tomorrow's Pharmacoloy lecture has been cancelled! Yay. I love days that start at 10am instead of 8am.

Ah!

Well, my brain was buzzing with activity right after I posted the previous post.

If any of you have been following my blog religiously, you'd have noticed that I posted a very angsty post about someone I called spoilt, a prat and a bitch. In case you're wondering, I wrote the post not because she has offended me. But indirectly, she has hurt me through her thoughtless action against my friend, A. It brought a lot of harm to A and worse still, her friends even jumped onto the bandwagon to continue ridiculing A. The reason why I was so infuriated because she doesn't even know A personally to be attacking her at such a personal level. Just because she's chummy with A's ex does not mean she should be playing the devil, continually instigating the ex to stir up some possibly unpleasant emotions towards A. Of course, it was done in jest. But take the conversation out of context and you start seeing different things. I wanted to confront her personally regarding this, but I did not, due to other reasons. I guess my impression of her from this fiasco seem to fit the previous stereotype I have of her - a typical English-speaking banana from KL, rich and spoilt with a loud bimbotic personality to match.

I think I might infuriate some people with this post. Yet, I am only stating what I think.

Go ahead, spam me if you wish.

*blank*

I seriously don't know what I've been up to lately. I seem to be busier, but I think I have been spending copious amount of my free time online, surfing other people's blogs. Some people are just very good writers. And I don't get bored reading their stuff.

Anyway, I just had a test on Thursday. It was pretty decent I must say. But no kick lah. Somehow. Well, another test coming up soon. Friday, to be exact.

Had 2 hours' worth of fitness class again. I like kickboxing lah. I think it's the same as the taibo thingy we did back in JC. And now I'm like jelly. Totally liberating. Downside is, I can't do anymore work. Cos too tired.

I shall stop rambling lah. I don't even make sense. Bleh.