Interested?

Anybody interested to see photos of my swollen and bruised left foot? Leave me your email, I'll send them to you.

*grin*

Eat to live or live to eat?

I'm binging on snacks again. I find normal food yucky and I prefer junk foods. I'm not doing myself justice...I'm abusing my body.

Bad things have been happening lately. I'm not sure whether they are the consequence for no longer believing in Him. But if He is doing all these to get me back to Him, then sorry. It's just an extremely sneaky way. Anyway, why believe in Him when He betrays your trust again and again? Why believe in Him when He never fulfill His promises? How to have faith when the little mustardy faith I have is crushed? No. I will not budge. I know I am making a wrong decision, but am I doing something wrong by avoiding something/person that keeps on hurting me? I'm just trying to protect myself.

And right now, I wish you are around to hold me. If only my ankle doesn't hurt so. If only my stomach cramps will go away immediately. If only my back doesn't hurt so much. If only sleep could heal ALL wounds.

I'm So Accident-prone!

Happy 21st Birthday to James Wong! The guy from SIBU! Wooohooo~ Hope you had fun in the afternoon today...and I hope you're gonna have loads of fun tonight. Do fill me in with details.

And of all unfortunate things! I fell from the bus and sprained my ankle. Initially I thought it was a usual mild sprain, but as I hobbled to the bench from the sidewalk, each step I took was stabbingly painful. So I knew that something wasn't right. And I was tearing! I mean, I'm a person with a pretty high threshold for pain, but this time it was OUCH all the way. And what angered me even more was those bloody PRCs behind me. All they could do was open their big fat mouths and GASPED! None even ASKED whether I was OK. Bloody shits. So nevermind. Picked myself up gallantly and hobbled proudly (heh) towards the bench. I just hope that this would not happen to them.

But thanks to Johnson and Khim for accompanying me to the hospital and spending so much time waiting with me. And poor poor Khim for being left alone coz they only allow one visitor with one patient! And thanks also to the 2 nice medical students that I know for stopping by and ensuring that I was OK.

Anyway, I'm quite fine now. Except that I can't find any appropriate place to prop my leg up when I'm at the desk. Dumdeedum. Shall think of something later.

Btw, today was the second time in my life I sat on a wheelchair! How exciting.

Interview with a ICU Pharmacist

A visit to Singapore General Hospital (SGH) today has opened my eyes widely. Really. I'm serious. I guess I'm very fortunate to meet and know very enthusiastic pharmacists. And I have yet to encounter any that detests the job. But I must say that pharmacy students are really far from having an attitude like theirs. Probably coz most of the students are medicine/dentistry rejects. But yet I'm glad that there is quite a number (myself included!) that is truly interested in pharmacy. Heh.

Anyway, the interview was great. I left the place feeling that I will definitely play a very important part in the healthcare profession. It's just sad that pharmacists are not so well recognised for their job as much as nurses or doctors. And of course, the general public perception about pharmacists being "those" people behind the counter in Guardian. You see, when you go to the hospital, the fees that you pay for is roughly the sum of doctor's consultation fee and the medication. If you stay in the wards, the "hotel" fee is included. But drugs are generally expensive things. With the pharmacist around, he/she can recommend drugs that could help lower the cost. Economics aside, only pharmacists have the knowledge to whether which drug interacts with which drug and whether the intravenous contents are compatible. Imagine a hospital without a pharmacist, will you trust the doctors completely with what they prescribe? Doctors may know everything about the humn body, the symptoms of a disease etc and hence they diagnose. But the ultimate drug expert is the pharmacist.

We were brought on a tour around SGH pharmacies and we got to go into a ICU ward. She showed us some of the charts and explained in detail what are the things that pharmacists do. Sounds very good and it's something I can see myself doing in the future.

Well, but then again, why do I seem to be involved in things that seem to struggling. Things like arts and pharmacy. Sigh.

Bitchy bitchy!

Haha. Didn't know a little bitching post could elicit so much response. Heh. Thanks to all that have replied. Though I really must direct you to Yingmin's blog. They do have more substance.

Sometimes I feel that arts is struggling very hard in Singapore. On one hand, the government tries to bring in Western art forms for the locals to appreciate. But on the other hand, the local art forms are left to their own devices. What about heritage, tradition and culture? What kind of "culture" is Singapore trying to inculcate? Are they trying to produce a "classier" and "elegant" nation? Or just simply a nation that knows how to appreciate arts? Or rediscovering their roots through arts?

One more thing about local productions, they tend to hinge heavily on sex and sexuality. The posters scream out loud, telling you that hey, there's some sex elements in this play, it's bound to be good, and it's bound to leave you thinking! Thinking of what, may I ask? The sexuality suppression under Mr LKY Da Great's rule? Whatever. But does arts=sex? I completely disagree. Arts is about beauty and expression. And of course, people would argue that sex and nudity is a form of art, it's subjective blah blah blah. And it gets nowhere. *Hrrrmphf* Maybe arts is meant to be controversial? Haiiiiiiiii. BENGANG LAH.

Anyway, I think I should stop exploring this arts and sex thing even further. Ugh. It just sickens me that arts have to resort to this to gain appeal. What happened to nice, prancing ballerinas in fluffy white tutus?

On a ligher note, I got 85 for my Physiology test! How happy it is to be among the top few in class. And the fact that I thought I would flunk it. Teehee.

Oh, and you should try visit my photojournal for pictures of my hamster, Rainbow!

Culture?

Was pretty bothered today about the lack of art appreciation among my "gang". And I was about to post a long post griping about the lack of art appreciation and hence, the lack of culture. Call me elitist or whatever that word is. It's just one thing I cannot comprehend! Why is arts so difficult to penetrate to the masses? Must arts stoop down to a mass-appeal-type so that people would be interested? Why can't arts be appreciated for what it is. OK. I think I should be a little more specific. Take for instance, choral music. For the life of me, I wouldn't have known what is choral singing until I have been exposed to it. And since I was exposed to it, I'm now hooked to it. But the problem does not lie in the arts group themselves! These people practise whole year around to provide a 2-hour performance such that people can be acquainted with what is called, arts. But there are of course people that are unwilling to be adventurous or should I put it this way, unwilling to learn new things such that they reject invitations to such concerts. And sometimes these people talk as if they know everything about living a cultured life. Cheh.

Hah. Another of my judgmental post. Getting extremely critical of people lately. Don't you just get irritated with people that tries to force their *obviously* biased opinions on you? Things such as making a sweeping statement that all girls that goes overseas will become elegant and classy. And those that stay at home remains uncultured. What a load of crap. And when you gently try to convince them to see from your point of view, they just bluntly reject it. I mean, hello, you are not the only person with a world of experience you know. I have, in fact, seen many girls that are cultured at home even though they don't go overseas. I guess it boils down to who their company is at home. Hah. Such a katak di bawah tempurung.

Anyway, this is getting unhealthy. I'm using my blog to bitch about other people. But I don't care whether I offend or not because my PMS switch is on "ULTRA HIGH" mode.

Irritation

Have been staying in the study room doing work for the past few days. Though I was trying very hard to adapt to having company around while doing work. But things are getting better now. It's important to develop filters! Whee~ A lesson learnt from a communication course in Pharmacy.

Anyway, I had a bad taste of what you call bad attitude or character. But it's partly my fault for not diligently completing my part (for a term paper) properly for today's group meeting. Anyway, I was being called to attend a meeting 2 hours earlier than planned. And when I was about to use the bathroom, the cleaner happily trudged into the bathroom. So what can I do except to wait and try to do other stuff. Though "other stuff" did not include the said term paper. So I SMS-ed her and told her that I'll be late. So indeed, I was late. She showed me a prissy face and started to demand that I edit her piece. OK. Sure, fine with me. And I started up my computer, showing them the meagre work I've done. But no, she just had to exclaim very loudly, "Hey, I've finished my part and uploaded to YahooGroups. So now I feel very free. Don't know what to do. *fake laughter*" Well, nobody bothered her. Hah.

Now you see, I've never had problems dealing with this kind of people, but I was extremely miffed today that I really felt like giving her a big punch in the face. Such bad temper, you say? Yes. I admit. I've been in extremely bad mood this past week. But people just keep stepping on my toes. Partly because my fault because I usually just swallow them and bite my lips, not wanting to say anything. But now that it's getting into me. I'm irritated, annoyed and I want to run a bus over her fat body.

Evil me eh.

And my dumb hamster refuse to warm up to me. Grrrrrr.

Robbie!

I bought myself a hamster! His/her name is Robbie! Not sure of its gender yet, but i'm sure I'll be able to tell sometime soon. Robbie will relieve me of the boring studying days ahead. *grin*

If

If only things could get better. If only my days don't get horrider by the day. If only I could stop being such an ass and get on with life.

Argggh.

Good advice

Good advice for me. Mostly.

The Law of the Seed

They're gone!

Today must have been the lousiest day I've ever experienced. Have never met with so many lousy events in a day.

Friend decided to come over to use my printer this afternoon. Since I left the driver CD in the storage high up in my closet, so I had to climb up and retrieve it. When everything was done, I climbed back up to store the box. Lo and behold, I accidentally pushed the cabinet door too wide and it hit the fan. The next I heard was a loud "PARP" and the fan stopped moving. GREAT. So I might have to contend with 2-weeks of hot and stuffy room. And it really didn't help that I got into an argument with someone close to my heart at the same time.

So fine, I went for lecture and found that I've been asked to some sai-kang jobs for a few people. Not too hard to swallow those down, but lecture was fine. Wasn't really listening because I was too busy chatting with another friend.

Then I went over to another faculty for the next lecture. While on the way there, MY SANDAL STRAP BROKE. So I had to hobble my way to some destination. Getting a little pissed so I just took to walking around the campus bare-footed. But thanks to a friend, I get to borrow her sandals for the rest of the day. *phew*

And now, I found that my image host decided to terminate my account. $%$#

So this is my lousy day. Right now I'm not sure whether I'm in a good or bad mood. But I do know that I'm very very tired. And yet, I want to continue doing my work. I refuse to go back to my lousy, hot room.

Cutieeeeee!

Am showing off the hamster I have now. Not mine, but adopting it for a couple of days. So cute right! Heehee.

Piggy-fied

*yawn* 7 hours of sleep and now I'm sleepy again. Just had lunch in MacDonald's (see...pigging out again) and I've spent 5 dollars on a big, fat, lipid-laden meal. Urgh. Now my breakouts gonna be worse. I wanna have normal meals. Simple and healthy food...I'm sick of these rich, fatty foods. I'm getting fat, putting weight at the wrong places and my butt is get larger. :( My body is being tormented to work really hard, storing all these excess glucose and fat. Sigh. *patpat* Poor body of mine.

And not to mention, all these pigging out is starting to blow a hole in my account. I still need money to go to US! Right now, I can only buy a decent return trip ticket! Yarrrgh.

Endless assignments

Today (uh, make it yesterday lah) is by far the most productive day I've had. Woke up at 6.45am and went online. Saw darling! And then after that decided to go back to sleep instead because the lecture is probably gonna be spent doing presentations. And I really abhor presentations that are more like reading sessions where the slides are chock full of words (probably cut and pasted from somewhere) and the presenters just read off the slide, word by word. How torturous. Anyway, I went to sleep and woke up at 10am to start doing work. Did the usual laundry and room cleaning routine in addition to chatting with darling (again!). Had my lunch at 1pm and then off I go to the library.

Time spent in library was great. Today was the first time I was 'lost' among the shelves. There were so many similar looking shelves and after a while, I got disorientated. I kinda forgot which direction leads to the exit. Haha. And it was an interesting experience. First time ever! And the selection of books...INCREDIBLE! Though I sincerely wish they have a larger fiction section for crazy readers like me. If only I can have the time to just spend the whole day in the library just poring over books. And I think I need the break right now. Oooh, and I saw this book, Growing Up with LKY. It's a comic biography of the famous LKY and it's supposed to be part of some National Education (NE) package for primary school kids. The caricatures of LKY is kinda cute. Though the missus does look like ah-mmm. Hehe. There's also this section on their romance. Apparently they got married secretly in Cambridge. Tsssk. Wonder why...hahaha. But anyway, I still don't like him. He has too much say in the running of the government and it seems like Singapore belongs to him and his descendents forevermore.

After that I popped by medical library to have a peep at some books. Just found out that many med students there wear their labcoats. They are either 1) cold and have no sweater or 2) just a status symbol, to show off that they are THE med students. I know I know, they are M3 or M4s after a long day doing clinical (not too sure of the medical slang though, just guessing). But those lab coats! Goodness knows what has splattered on it! How unhygienic.

So I spent a good part of my day finishing up as assignment. And it's done! Yay. And there's another one to go...no, two more. Oh shucks. And another term paper.

But anyhow, today is a good day indeed.

Long long post. But it's pretty mundane. Nothing exciting happening to me recently. Just that I've been plagued by this sudden outburst of zits. I look horrible. Trust me.

Good morning!

It's 7.37am and I have a class later at 10am which I have great intention to skip. But he might do the watch-videos-and-answer-questions thing again. And despite a huge lecture groups (of 400 people), he wants us to hand up our answers...to be graded I suppose. The poor poor TA. I think he deserves a retreat. Anyway, that's not the point.

Reason why I woke up so early was because I thought my alarm rang. Then I got up and checked my phone to look at the time. Wow. Only 7.02am. Received 2 messages from a friend chiding me for being the evil person I am. And it just made my day.

Things have been looking up for a while. I wonder whether this is the beginning of the downfall. *touch wood*

Anyway. I got 28/30 for my cheapo Physics module.

Nice but extravagant dinner!

Had dinner at Fuzion today. Nice Dory fish and lovely smoothie and an entertaining company to have with. Haha. And it costs me almost 10 dollars! Argh. I have to resolve to be more stingy for the next few days such that I don't empty my Go-To-US Fund. Heh. On the way there, bumped into Greenlamb and girlfriend-to-be (or already girlfriend, I dunno lah.). Hmm, and I happened to discover a new species of stingray that closely resembles an opened black umbrella that has dropped into the fountain pool. Interesting eh.

Yaaaaaarrgggh

I'm so bored. Bored bored bored. And I have a million zits sprouting on my face. No. It's not PMS or anything of that sort. It's just the excessive chocolates (I suspect) that I've been munching on for the past few days. But they're just lovely things! Hmmm.

And yes, back to the "bored" topic. I'm so freaking bored. There's nothing to do except study and finish my assignments! I'm grateful for the time, but I've spent the whole day working on a tiny little portion of my essay on osteoporosis. I mean, it's damn easy, the information is all over the place. Yarrgh. I need more willpower than this. Have been procrastinating and wasting my time away. I'm sure I'll regret this. Someday. Hurrrrrr.

Hm. I think that's the end of my complaint session. Back to the essay again. I'm so gonna finish at least 2 major portions today! Woooo~

Thanks for listening folks.

*blank*

Ooops. Forgot that even when I edit my blog, the "published" time does not change. Anyway, it's 1.04am on Mac now. I really have to go.

And oh, GOODNIGHT SWEETHEART!

PS: That's a lovely song y'know.

Outing and a big fat lunch!

Hello! Finally stepped out of the campus fof the first time in 2 weeks! If that NTU concert is not counted (coz it's a concert, not shopping/meet friends/meal trip), I think I have not been out of the campus for shopping/meet friends/meal purposes for the past 4 or 5 weeks!! Freaky. Anyway, if you could understand my highly convoluted sentences, I applaud you! Whee.

Anyway, went out for Creative warehouse sale today. So many nice things on sale! But unfortunately they are mostly incompatible with Mac. Wanted to get speakers, but looks like to get one with Mac quality, I have to spend above 100 dollars! So expensive! And just so I could have louder music of a similar quality. Hmmm. James got his speakers (they look so good!) and sound card and I ended up with uh, headphones that is of such a creative design that I could not comprehend its usefulness. And it's 10 dollars. Am not going to Creative to get stuff anymore.

But lunch was great at 3pm after not taking breakfast. Heh. 35 dollars worth of Japanese food. 2 bowls of agedashi tofu (yumyum), some fried chicken, some seafood-on-rice-set and a set of salmon sashimi. But am upset that there's so little pieces of salmon. And the rice was hard. :( But the wasabi's lovely and I really don't mind having some more raw salmon. Yummy yummy. Kinda reminds me of the New Year's dinner back home with loads and loads of salmon and raw oysters. I'm really a fan for raw food. Heehee. I love half-boiled eggs, by the way. And oh, add some toast bread with kaya and butter. Yum yum. I'm hungry now. And I missed dinner yet again. Hur hur.

Hmm. Dropped by Clementi and got some supplies for myself. Then I decided to pamper myself and got some facial masks! Heehee. Those ultra-deep pore cleansing kind. But seriously, I look horrible from all those late nights recently and from the lack of proper 7 hours sleep. And why am I still awake at this time? Hungry lah. Heh.

Okayokay. I'll go now. Goodnight!

Another long and tiring day

Had my Physiology test this morning. I think I screwed it really badly. And funny things was, it's all MCQ. *kicks myself* Somehow the Neural portion became so foreign! Suddenly I couldn't remember what in the world is corticospinal neurons, and somehow my mind was trying to relate ventrolateral tract to spinothalamic tract. And hippocampus! It's the same as medial temporal lobe! Yaaargh. Shucks. I'm crossing my fingers, hoping very very hard that I picked the correct answer though I may not be entirely sure of what I was reading. And I also hope that my Renal portion will save me.

But good news. I did quite OK for Dispensing Practical test! Whee~ 95.7 marks. Haha. At least I don't have to do retest. Or it would take up another of my Saturday. Heh. But I want to know what I did wrong. Maybe because I didn't write "fluted" in my procedures. Or maybe I forgot to attach an auxillary label. Or maybe I just happily edited the "Advice to patients" portion. Ah well.

Hmm. And another interesting thing! I finally brought Mac out for a walk! But he refused to be good -- I can't log on to wireless. Bah. But solved it in the end. Just some configuration problem. Heh heh. Silly me. And oh, I actually bought a SGD14 bag for Mac. There was another similar-sized, but one-sided zip type selling at 8 dollars. But yours truly was out of cash. So in order to use NETS, I have to get something that is more than 10 dollars. Hence the 14 dollars bag. :P

Have a nice weekend everybody. Feeling good now that there's no more test for at least 3 more weeks. But assignments are piling up, term paper going to be due soon and an interview with ICU pharmacist to look forward to! Yay!

My Wish List

Odd timing eh. Heh heh. But have a sudden urge to list down the things I want. Either it's something I'll get myself soon enough, or just a plain HINT. :P

And again, My Wish List:
1. Alicia Keys' new album
2. Josh Groban's new album
3. A Macintosh mouse. Tail preferred, but tail-less mouse would be a bonus.
4. A set of speakers.
5. Tuning fork or a pitch pipe.
6. A few files to organise my things.
7. A maroon bedsheet. Or dark purple.
8. A nice photo frame.
9. Some nice posters for my room. Ie, abstract ones or better, Balinese-inspired ones. *wink*
10. A huge bouquet of As for the next few semesters. Haha.

Study mode

I am very proud of myself. I have finally sorted out Neural Physiology!! It was such a mess, having to learn new terms that are peculiar to this branch of physiology in addition to recalling the anatomical features of the nervous system.

Now, back to more of Neural...time to commit them to memory.

I'll know my Dispensing Practical Test result tomorrow. Somewhat excited. Heh. Wish me luck guys.

Hah. How boring I sound. It's time to work hard again! Exams in a month's time. I think. Or so.

Teehee

I just skipped a lecture today. My second in the whole of the 2 semesters! Heh heh. Damn proud of myself. Anyway, reason why I didn't go was because of the rain which was slowly lulling me back to sleep and the sheer inertia to move out of my cosy room.

By the way, I have this sudden urge to decorate my room. Hmm. Thinking of a maroon-coloured theme. Any suggestions? I really love the Balinese-type of stuff. All wooden and mysterious. OKOK. Stop giving me *that* look. I'm damn busy, but so what. *blergh*

Happy Sunday

Something good for a happy Sunday.

He's here again!

I have decided to change the image host. And little prince is here again. Oooh. I love him sooooooooo.

*grin*

Just read some stuff from the Choir Forum that made me smile. I'm so happy that the bond is still going strong between the members. Everybody is keen to have an outing/get together. :) And the best thing was, I don't even have to lift a finger. Muahaha.

And today's practical test was interesting. Made capsules for a person with CVS problem, calamine lotion for someone with dermatitis and an expectorant for someone with bronchitis (I suspect lah). Anyway, we had to do some dilution for digoxin since it's a poison (under the law). We can only weigh a minimum of 100 mg! So in order to make 8 capsules with 0.25 mg in each, we need only 2 mg in total. What an awful waste. But anyhow, just to make up the bulk to fill a 200 mg capsule, we have to dilute 100 mg of digoxin with loads of lactose. To cut the long story short, I think the rough amount of lactose needed is about 3000 mg. Some people I know actually used up to 20+ g! Amazing. And the worst was, there was so little digoxin and an abundance of lactose, it felt as if we were feeding the patient with lactose only. And I suppose the TAs wouldn't know if we just filled the capsule with pure lactose...

Haha. Nice Saturday. And there are nice songs on the ray-dee-oh too!

Back to Biochemistry for now. 5 more chapters to go!

Ray-deeeee-oh

Realised that everytime when I actually feel like tuning in to the radio, it's always a Friday night. When I'm hoping for nice good oldies to sooth the night, there's always upbeat disco-maniac songs playing on almost all the English channels. Probably except the Symphony one, but that lulls me to sleep. Shameful of me, but I have yet to learn how to appreciate a full length concerto or symphony without falling asleep through the middle and waking up when it's near the end. (Quite easy to tell when's the end though, somehow.) And yes, only choral pieces keep me awake. But they are always damn damn soft when they sing p. Need I say more for pp and ppp?

Anyway, things are looking up a little. A little happier today coz it rained a little. Hence my MSN nick, Soft rain. Doesn't it sound lovely? Soft rain. Sssof-tuh rr-eineh. Anyway. Heh.

Loads of tests coming up! Dispensing practical tomorrow, Biochem on Monday (have not started on it!!) and Physiology on Thursday (and my brain is still in a mess with regards to neural physiology. How ironic). Wooooohoooo~

I need endless energy!

Pooped

I am actually glad that today was the last choir "practice". The committee was presented to the choir and the beginning has just begun. I could already feel the immense pressure weighing on my shoulders. I wonder whether my petite (heh) frame can handle that weight. And I wonder whether I will be able to do a good job. There's so much doubts, so much uncertainties! I may have to sacrifice my June hols! *grumblegrumble* And I'm afraid of what the choir thinks of me. I'm afraid of what Nelson thinks of me and I'm afraid of what my friends would think of me.

I feel like just letting go, but I can't! I have to be strong to face you, and everybody else. I have to be strong to show the choir that they did not put their hopes in me wrongly.

And I'm afraid, of you leaving me. I don't know how to face you these few days. And I don't know how to talk to you anymore. I'm not sure whatever I'm doing is right. I'm not sure whatever I do will make you smile, at least. I don't know what am I trying to do! Am I trying to gain brownie points? I don't know. I know I shouldn't be posting this up on my blog, but I want to know what have I done wrong.

I think I should stop.

Goodnight.

I see him, I see him!!

Little Prince is back!! I saw him! And I still do! *beams*

Confused state of mind

I don't know what to do. I can compromise, but are you willing to? You are my everything, am I yours?

Just came back from another rehearsal. There was this acapella piece in Chinese. The title is Our Story. A very lovely piece. Is there really "Our Story" to tell of?

Uh-oh

My choir president called me. And guess who's the next-in-line.

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEAAK.